This is a letter that I sent to my husband
------------------------

Please read and consider this.

I know that I relied on you in the past. I am sorry. You cannot believe how sorry I am. I am sorry because it was unfair responsibility and strain on you. I cannot fix the past, but I do acknowledge it and take responsibilty for it. Again, I am sorry.

I can give excuses as to why that was. It was easy to let you do it, I felt out of my depth in the UK, etc. But ultimately, the responsibilty lies me.

I have made changes. Not just for you, not for just us, but also for me. I wasn't happy in my own life. I felt depressed and unfulfilled. So, I have made changes.

I have taken responsibility for career.
I have a strong group of friends.
I do interesting things: trips to Tuscany, clubbing, walks in the country.
I have taken on financial responsibility.
I have sought out a therapist to talk about insecurities and issues that I have.

I have moved forward on gaining my drivers license. I am studying the theory book. I have applied for a provisional license which will take 2-3 weeks to arrive. Then I can apply for a theory test. I have also gotten prices from two driving schools about the costs of driving lessons.

I am moving forward and not looking back. I cannot fix the past. It happened. But I can fix the future and that is what I want to do.

I promise you that I will never let things get like that again. I will never be reliant on you. I will never make you take responsibility for me. This is a serious promise that I am making. I am committed to it.

And I think that we still have a future ahead of us. You said that I am thinking about my own happiness and you are right, but I am also thinking about both of us. I honestly believe that we can be happy together.

I want you to have your life and me to have mine, but us also to have a life together.

I believe that we can move ahead together as equals. We can have fun and laugh and share a really happy future. I really would like that chance to show you.

I know that you have doubts. I understand them and they are legitimate, but there so many good things about you and me together, that I really think it could work.

Please read this and think about it. I really hope that you will give us a chance.

I love you so much. I know that if we end, I would go on and have a separate life but I don't want to have it with anyone else. You are special and I want to share my life with you.

Will you give us a chance. Starting from today?

Please let me know your answer.

Heidi