Things are officially over between me and Adam. Definitely.
We had another talk last night. He reconfirmed some of the things that he was talking about before but more clearly.
He said that he feels like he has always just rolled along in his life, never taking an active part in it. He has latched onto other people and ridden their waves. He feels like ever since moving back to the UK, his life has been stagnant. His adventures has ceased. He feels like he could continue down this path and wake up years later and he will have not had a life. So, he is ending things with me. He is chosing to be alone. He wants to make active changes in his life and that is doing them or not doing them based on himself and not anyone else.
I tried to argue that I wasn't holding him back. Perhaps there was pressure from me to buy a house, get a good job, eventually have children, but that - I thought - was what we both wanted. If he wants to move to other countries, start his own business, wait on kids, I could be up for that.
He declined the offer.
He also added that over the past few months, he has pushed me away emotionally and physically. He has said that he no longer feels physically attracted to me.
I told him that I thought that that was a symptom of the distance and that if he wanted to try to have his own initiative and life in addition to mine, it would come back. He wouldn't feel trapped. He would enjoy being with me and that attraction could come back.
He said he didn't know if it would come back and it didn't matter because his decision was still his decision. He was ending the relationship.
Again, I told him I think that he is taking the easy way out. I think he thinks that if he ends the relationship, that he he thinks he can start again. That he will have all this freedom that he didn't have before. That he is going to sort out his life and really be happy. And maybe that will be the case in the short term but I think that he is throwing away something really great just because he thinks it is the way to go, right now.
So, that is it.
We don't have enough money to pay for rent and a mortgage so he will live in the guest bedroom until we sell the house.
We had another talk last night. He reconfirmed some of the things that he was talking about before but more clearly.
He said that he feels like he has always just rolled along in his life, never taking an active part in it. He has latched onto other people and ridden their waves. He feels like ever since moving back to the UK, his life has been stagnant. His adventures has ceased. He feels like he could continue down this path and wake up years later and he will have not had a life. So, he is ending things with me. He is chosing to be alone. He wants to make active changes in his life and that is doing them or not doing them based on himself and not anyone else.
I tried to argue that I wasn't holding him back. Perhaps there was pressure from me to buy a house, get a good job, eventually have children, but that - I thought - was what we both wanted. If he wants to move to other countries, start his own business, wait on kids, I could be up for that.
He declined the offer.
He also added that over the past few months, he has pushed me away emotionally and physically. He has said that he no longer feels physically attracted to me.
I told him that I thought that that was a symptom of the distance and that if he wanted to try to have his own initiative and life in addition to mine, it would come back. He wouldn't feel trapped. He would enjoy being with me and that attraction could come back.
He said he didn't know if it would come back and it didn't matter because his decision was still his decision. He was ending the relationship.
Again, I told him I think that he is taking the easy way out. I think he thinks that if he ends the relationship, that he he thinks he can start again. That he will have all this freedom that he didn't have before. That he is going to sort out his life and really be happy. And maybe that will be the case in the short term but I think that he is throwing away something really great just because he thinks it is the way to go, right now.
So, that is it.
We don't have enough money to pay for rent and a mortgage so he will live in the guest bedroom until we sell the house.
posted by Heidi at 9:27 AM
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