Talk Like a Pirate Day (TLAP)
Avast! Me Mateys!
Tis the 19th of September which means one thing is fer sure, tis talk like a Pirate Day! (TLAP Day) http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
And those of ye in the know, there is talk like a pirate in German! http://www.talklikeapirate.com/howtogerman.html Arrrrrgghhh!
If ye want to be christened with a proper Pirate Name, and I know ye do, visit here.
And, what would be a proper Talk Like a Pirate Day without Pirate Jokes, so here they be!!
--------------------------
Did you hear about hat new pirate movie? .........it's rated arrrrrrrrr
-------------------------------------
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buck-an-ear!
What is a pirate's favorite dessert?
Chips A-Hoy!
What is a pirate's favorite television show?
The ARRRsenio Hall Show!
How did the pirate know he found land?
He was shore of it!
What is the one thing a pirate is afraid of?
ARRRmageddon!
What is the one thing a pirate should be afraid of?
Scurvy.
What do you call a pirate who poses for Playgirl?
A Play-matey!
How do you keep a pirate from robbing your house?
Fill you lawn with beavers!
What did the pirate say to the jokester?
Aye, walk the prank!
What do pirates do when ants start eating through their ship?
The buy and ARRRdvark!
How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet?
Two, Arrrrr and Ayyyeee
What is a Pirate’s favorite color?
ARRRRanggge!
-----------------------------------
Not-so-Jolly Roger
A soldier meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The soldier notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch.
"How did you end up with a peg leg?" he asks.
The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" says the soldier. "What about your hook?"
"Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."
"Incredible. How’d you get the eye patch?"
"A grapefruit squirted in my eye," the pirate replies.
"You lost your eye to grapefruit juice?"
"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the new hook."
------------------------------
Captain Bravo
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my Red Shirt.'' The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock he led his men into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on that day, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, he was victorious over the two ships.
That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain, ''Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle? The captain replied, ''If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.''
All of the men sat in silence and marvelled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo.
As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching from the far horizon. The crew stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply.
Captain Bravo calmly shouted, ''Get me my brown pants.''
-------------------------------------------
There was a Pirate with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then he gets mad and locks the bird in a cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush.
At that point, the pirate is so mad that he throws the parrot into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. The Pirate fears that the bird may have frozen and quickly opens the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?"
--------------------------------
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck down the front of his trousers. The barman says, “Sorry mate, but do you realise you have a steering wheel stuck down the front of your trousers?”
The pirate replies, “Course, I do. It’s driving me nuts!”
---------------------------------
You know ye are a pirate when
...you prefer cheap rum instead of expensive wine
...you think that the proper way to greet kings at events is, “Arrh, ye peacock, give me yer money or I´ll burn yer tent!”
...you get thrown out of meetings ‘cause your idea of strategic problem solving is "slithering throats, ARRH!"
Avast! Me Mateys!
Tis the 19th of September which means one thing is fer sure, tis talk like a Pirate Day! (TLAP Day) http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
And those of ye in the know, there is talk like a pirate in German! http://www.talklikeapirate.com/howtogerman.html Arrrrrgghhh!
If ye want to be christened with a proper Pirate Name, and I know ye do, visit here.
And, what would be a proper Talk Like a Pirate Day without Pirate Jokes, so here they be!!
--------------------------
Did you hear about hat new pirate movie? .........it's rated arrrrrrrrr
-------------------------------------
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buck-an-ear!
What is a pirate's favorite dessert?
Chips A-Hoy!
What is a pirate's favorite television show?
The ARRRsenio Hall Show!
How did the pirate know he found land?
He was shore of it!
What is the one thing a pirate is afraid of?
ARRRmageddon!
What is the one thing a pirate should be afraid of?
Scurvy.
What do you call a pirate who poses for Playgirl?
A Play-matey!
How do you keep a pirate from robbing your house?
Fill you lawn with beavers!
What did the pirate say to the jokester?
Aye, walk the prank!
What do pirates do when ants start eating through their ship?
The buy and ARRRdvark!
How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet?
Two, Arrrrr and Ayyyeee
What is a Pirate’s favorite color?
ARRRRanggge!
-----------------------------------
Not-so-Jolly Roger
A soldier meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The soldier notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch.
"How did you end up with a peg leg?" he asks.
The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" says the soldier. "What about your hook?"
"Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."
"Incredible. How’d you get the eye patch?"
"A grapefruit squirted in my eye," the pirate replies.
"You lost your eye to grapefruit juice?"
"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the new hook."
------------------------------
Captain Bravo
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my Red Shirt.'' The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock he led his men into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on that day, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, he was victorious over the two ships.
That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain, ''Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle? The captain replied, ''If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.''
All of the men sat in silence and marvelled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo.
As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching from the far horizon. The crew stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply.
Captain Bravo calmly shouted, ''Get me my brown pants.''
-------------------------------------------
There was a Pirate with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then he gets mad and locks the bird in a cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush.
At that point, the pirate is so mad that he throws the parrot into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. The Pirate fears that the bird may have frozen and quickly opens the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?"
--------------------------------
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck down the front of his trousers. The barman says, “Sorry mate, but do you realise you have a steering wheel stuck down the front of your trousers?”
The pirate replies, “Course, I do. It’s driving me nuts!”
---------------------------------
You know ye are a pirate when
...you prefer cheap rum instead of expensive wine
...you think that the proper way to greet kings at events is, “Arrh, ye peacock, give me yer money or I´ll burn yer tent!”
...you get thrown out of meetings ‘cause your idea of strategic problem solving is "slithering throats, ARRH!"
posted by Heidi at 2:35 PM
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