Email to my husband.
I guess it could be post-holiday, yes I know long weekend, blues. I guess I am just feeling a bit like I am happy with the progress that you are making with yourself. I am happy at the progress that we are making, but I am feeling a bit impatient.
To be honest, I sort of resigned myself to the fact that we were over, especially when you were out 4 or 5 nights a week with your friends. And even after that when you were in the guest bedroom and we were not really interacting. Slowly over time, I began to accept that we were over.
Now that things are going pretty well and we are re-connecting it is messing wiht my head. I am starting to feel uncertain. As much as I hated the idea of us splitting, at least you know where you stand. You have a direction. At the moment, I am feeling a bit sad. I went away and there were a couple of couples hugging and smiling at each other.
It made me feel like I have to go back into the waiting and patient stage. Give you more time to find what makes you happy and for us to re-connect and the waiting is upsetting. Feeling exhausted from the waiting. Don't get defensive and immediately ask if me if I want to give up. That is not what I am saying. Just saying the period of uncertainty we are in again, is hard for me.
Plus, sometimes I just feel like it shouldn't be this hard. Maybe, we shouldn't be together if we need to work this hard at it? Maybe there is someone out there. Someone who can be what you need all the time? Maybe. I certainly don't know.
Anyway, that is my thought for the morning. Maybe it will change in the afternoon. Who can tell? Perhaps, I will be fine with everything and how things are going.
I don't mean that as I am dumping on you. I hope you don't take it that way. I am just being honest.
As for the going away. I think it would be nice to go somewhere and have fun together. I planned something for the weekend after your birthday but still not entirely sure whether you will like it - think you will. But we should plan a proper trip. Somewhere nice and fun. Any ideas? Or places you would like to go???? My preference would be somewhere warm.
I guess it could be post-holiday, yes I know long weekend, blues. I guess I am just feeling a bit like I am happy with the progress that you are making with yourself. I am happy at the progress that we are making, but I am feeling a bit impatient.
To be honest, I sort of resigned myself to the fact that we were over, especially when you were out 4 or 5 nights a week with your friends. And even after that when you were in the guest bedroom and we were not really interacting. Slowly over time, I began to accept that we were over.
Now that things are going pretty well and we are re-connecting it is messing wiht my head. I am starting to feel uncertain. As much as I hated the idea of us splitting, at least you know where you stand. You have a direction. At the moment, I am feeling a bit sad. I went away and there were a couple of couples hugging and smiling at each other.
It made me feel like I have to go back into the waiting and patient stage. Give you more time to find what makes you happy and for us to re-connect and the waiting is upsetting. Feeling exhausted from the waiting. Don't get defensive and immediately ask if me if I want to give up. That is not what I am saying. Just saying the period of uncertainty we are in again, is hard for me.
Plus, sometimes I just feel like it shouldn't be this hard. Maybe, we shouldn't be together if we need to work this hard at it? Maybe there is someone out there. Someone who can be what you need all the time? Maybe. I certainly don't know.
Anyway, that is my thought for the morning. Maybe it will change in the afternoon. Who can tell? Perhaps, I will be fine with everything and how things are going.
I don't mean that as I am dumping on you. I hope you don't take it that way. I am just being honest.
As for the going away. I think it would be nice to go somewhere and have fun together. I planned something for the weekend after your birthday but still not entirely sure whether you will like it - think you will. But we should plan a proper trip. Somewhere nice and fun. Any ideas? Or places you would like to go???? My preference would be somewhere warm.
posted by Heidi at 11:08 AM
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