So last night, my husband says he is going to tuck me in. He is standing in my [our former] room and I say, “Okay, can you please give me a minute so that I can get changed”. He said, “I have seen it before” and my response, “Yes, but things are different now. So please go”.

He lifts up the bottom of my shirt in a teasing way and then leaves the room.

Then he comes back after I have changed and tucks me in.

Then I am in my room reading my magazine and he sends me a text message wishing me good night. We text back and forth. Then I get a text from my friend, Charlotte, and one from my friend, Ian. Apparently, he can hear the text noise go off in his room because both of us have our windows open. He texts me back and says, “your phone keeps going off is it your lover?” So, I write back, “yes, all of them”

He said, “I am serious. Do you have a lover?”

I wrote, “Why do you want to know? Because you are jealous? Curious? Or for some other reason?”

He just keeps asking - do you have a lover?

Finally, I say that I am not telling him unless he tells me why he wants to know. (which I think is fair) He ends the conversation with "whatever, good night".

This morning, he is short with me and distant. I come into his room and shut the door and confront him. I explain that I want to know why he wants to know. If it is a jealousy thing or a controlling thing or is it because he wants to get back together? Because he cannot tell me to move on with my life and then want to know if I am dating someone. When you tell someone to move on with their life, you lose the right to know what and with whom they are doing.

He is angry but eventually says that it is important that he knows. (I believe that he is implying he wants to know because he wants to possibly get back together with me.) So, I agree that if I tell him if I have a lover, he will do the same.

I tell him no, that I don’t have a lover (Leave out the part about wishing I did.) and ask him if he has one and he says “no” and I can tell he is saying the truth. Then I said to him that he needs to answer why he wanted to know. He counters with “what do you want from me?”

I tell him, I want to know where I stand. I want to know what there is waiting for me. If you still don’t want me then let me know, but don’t ask if me if I have a lover because I will go out and get one if there is nothing waiting here for me. It is not fair.

Then he said, “what are you waiting for? What are you hoping for?” I said, I thought that you would realise that actually our marriage isn’t that bad. That you would start therapy and you would realise all aspects of your life need work and not just our marriage and that you would re-consider throwing it all away.

I wasn’t taking any crap. (Yay me)

So, I followed up with “so, am I right in thinking that you are still ending our marriage? Is it over?” He said “nothing is certain. I don’t know”

So, surprisingly more back and forth and indecision from my husband.