So much has changed.
I had my citizenship ceremony. So, I am now a British National. YAY!
Went to Nepal for two weeks. This time there was no rioting. No large demonstrations. It was relatively calm politically. All in all good.
Back at work and exhausted. The jetlag has fully kicked in. ZZZzZzZZZZZZZzZzzZZ
And then there was the discussion I had with my husband on the situation. Here it is.
My husband was due to move back in on August 1st. He said he is still not ready to do so.
I said that I need to now set a deadline on our realtionship for my own sanity. I told him that I would give him until December and then I would end it. He seemed shocked. He physically recoiled. He said, "Oh, I didn't expect you would give it that long. I just assumed that you would put an end to it before that.
I told him that I think it is unfair that he has put me in this position. I feel really lonely and unloved and depressed and he just bobs along, doing his own thing knowing that I will wait in the background.
I told him that he has had enough time to work on himself. He needs to dedicate himself to as well as working on himself, he needs to commit to working on the relationship. He put our relationship in a box and used the excuse that he needed to focus on himself. The relationship needs to comeback out of the box and be worked on.
He could not give me a commitment. He said he needed to think about it. He will give me an answer next week. So, next week I should know whether he will be willing to work on our marriage or not.
But to be honest, I think it is over. If he cannot say that he is willing to commit to working on the relationship, especially after all the space and understanding then it is over.
He also mentioned something interesting. He said that he has never directly broken up with someone before but has perhaps subconsciously done things to lead to the break up. I asked if he was doing that this time and he said no. He thought he wanted to pursue the relationship.
So, not a bad guy but simply not the person that I married and therefore, I think I need to be the strong one. I need to end it.
This is gonna suck.
I had my citizenship ceremony. So, I am now a British National. YAY!
Went to Nepal for two weeks. This time there was no rioting. No large demonstrations. It was relatively calm politically. All in all good.
Back at work and exhausted. The jetlag has fully kicked in. ZZZzZzZZZZZZZzZzzZZ
And then there was the discussion I had with my husband on the situation. Here it is.
My husband was due to move back in on August 1st. He said he is still not ready to do so.
I said that I need to now set a deadline on our realtionship for my own sanity. I told him that I would give him until December and then I would end it. He seemed shocked. He physically recoiled. He said, "Oh, I didn't expect you would give it that long. I just assumed that you would put an end to it before that.
I told him that I think it is unfair that he has put me in this position. I feel really lonely and unloved and depressed and he just bobs along, doing his own thing knowing that I will wait in the background.
I told him that he has had enough time to work on himself. He needs to dedicate himself to as well as working on himself, he needs to commit to working on the relationship. He put our relationship in a box and used the excuse that he needed to focus on himself. The relationship needs to comeback out of the box and be worked on.
He could not give me a commitment. He said he needed to think about it. He will give me an answer next week. So, next week I should know whether he will be willing to work on our marriage or not.
But to be honest, I think it is over. If he cannot say that he is willing to commit to working on the relationship, especially after all the space and understanding then it is over.
He also mentioned something interesting. He said that he has never directly broken up with someone before but has perhaps subconsciously done things to lead to the break up. I asked if he was doing that this time and he said no. He thought he wanted to pursue the relationship.
So, not a bad guy but simply not the person that I married and therefore, I think I need to be the strong one. I need to end it.
This is gonna suck.
posted by Heidi at 3:27 PM
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