Saturday will be heading to the National Maritime Museum's exhibit Sailor Chic: Fashion's Love Affair with the Sea. It looks amazing. I do love seaman!

The photo on the left is John Galliano Spring/Summer 06 Collection. Arrgh! Pirates and scallywags.

Feeling the post-weekend come down. Am feeling twinges of depression but trying to fight them. Am also getting the feeling about needing to think about moving/relocating etc. but think they are linked.

Need to get through this.

"How'd it go?"

Well me, being me, has to make things difficult in my head.

Basically, my male friend was coming from Spain to visit for the weekend. The plan was for me to have sex in my room with breaks for the occassional shower and intake of food and water. But I had a birthday party for one of my best friends on Saturday night so I asked him if we could go for a couple hours. It was such a tremendous mistake.

He was brilliant. He was funny and charming. He dazzled people. There were times when I was called away and I would look across the room and he would be laughing with people. Then he was affectionate with me at the right times. Coming up to me at the bar and encircling my waist with his arm and just kissing the top of my head lightly. Not only did it make me melt but all my friends were eyeing me enviously. A catastrophe, I tell you!!

Then there was the Notting Hill Carnival. As luck would have it, it was on this weekend. It is the largest Caribbean Festival in Europe. I took a Carib man to a Caribbean Festival! It was brilliant. There was dancing in the streets to dancehall, reggae and steel drum orchestras. There was rum punch and jerk chicken and lots of sunshine. I would wink at him when men would try to dance with me. He would put his hand on the small of my back as we made it through tight crowds. We had a great time.

Then there was the sex. I won't go through all that but it was amazing. Whatever the reason, whether it is that he is Latin/Caribbean, or just multi-talented - it works!!

These are all horrible, terrible things. It made me LIKE him. I was interested in sex. That was the purpose of the weekend. Take a hot guy from Spain and have sex with him all weekend. Nada mas.

But now, AHHH! I like him and we both knew the rules of the game before we started. I don't really want a big relationship and certainly not a long distance one. He was clear that he likes me but doesn't do long distance either. He has had two bad experiences with it, so it was never going to be an option.

But last night, we went to my room and he had four hours until his flight. I wasn't going to have the talk but I couldn't help myself. I needed to say something. In my attempt to say nothing, I was literally saying nothing.

"Que piensas, dushi?" he said, and it all flooded out. I told him that I really liked him and what did this mean, if anything? He was sweet but he reiterated again what he had said previously. I don't know what I expected. I guess I just was being unreasonable. Afterall, if I don't know exactly what I want, how can I expect it from him?

So, I took him to the train at 5 am and stood on the platform kissing him. I really didn't want him to go. He joked, "See you don't want to date me anyway. You would just get a sore neck from looking up all the time". It felt strange because it was the first mention of it since the talk several hours earlier. And it felt like he was trying to bring closure with humour.

So, to answer the question, "how'd it go?" It went well, very well, and I am trying to be an appreciative and non-nuerotic mess and accept it for what it was, a really great weekend with a guy from Spain.

Well, hmm, well, yes.

Okay, here goes. Basically, he was cute. He was very much another friend's style of man. He was cute but in that slightly bookish, clever, self-depricating way rather than the I want to tear off your clothes now kind of way. But still cute and very English and we hit it off straight away. Lots of chatter, laughing and flirting.

We are talking about his collecting first additions and his studies in American and English literature, Americans and atrocious grammatical errors, and then went onto travel. He has spent a lot of time in Southeast Asia and we talked about the countries that we have been to. His favourite is Laos and he offers to make me dinner next week. Going well, going well. And then the pause.

"Can I be honest?" I nod, "sure".
"I have a bit of a complicated situation. You see? I feel that maybe I misled you. I have...well... there is this girl in Edinburgh that I have been seeing."

The bomb. Of course, of course there is a girl in Edinburgh. There is always a girl in Edinburgh.

He continues. "Well, it is great when I see her which isn't often and it is made all the more difficult because she has just accepted a permanent position in Afghanistan. And I told Flavia all this and she said it was fine. That I should go out with you and just have a good time."

Right, okay. He is looking really nervous and studying his beer. I am watching him for the next move and in the back of my head I am thinking 'Flavia knew about the GF? File under things to address later'.

So, I ask him about the relationship. He talks about it briefly. He is clearly confused. He likes this woman but the prospect of a year or two with someone in Afghanistan isn't really what he thinks he can handle. Then he apologies some more and again says he didn't mean to mislead me. That he saw my profile and had to ask Flavia about me and she said he should go for it.

I tell him that basically he has to figure out things with this woman and I should not be a factor and that I am not looking for an end goal so if he wants to go out for the occassional drink or dinner, and as long as he is honest about the situation, I wouldn't have a problem with that.

He seems relieved and we begin chatting about normal things again.

We get to the end of the evening and he says, "Can I be honest again?" Again, I nod.
"I think you are smart and funny and engaging and really attractive, and I would like to take you home".
Woah! Where did that one come from? I know that we have been flirting all evening but he is English. We are supposed to flirt about six months before I eventually give in and kiss him out of frustration. I am really taken aback, but complimented and kind of attracted. This boldness is unusual.

I smile and say, "thanks but this is a first date and I am not that kind of girl". (I am really but he doesn't need to know that.) He laughs and says, "fair enough. I would like to see you again. I hope that didn't ruin my chances".

It didn't but it is late and time to go. At the tube entrance he starts apologising again for not mentioning the GF and for propositioning me. I tell him it is fine but this second round of apologies is a little offputting to be honest, I feel like a mothering figure rather than an object of desire. "No, no. It is fine really".

I give him a kiss on the cheek and run into the tube.

Still not sure about it but for a first date in eight years, it wasn't a catastrophe.

Dragonette 'The Boys' (Calvin Harris Cover)

I have decided that this is my current theme song. I love it!! Love it!!!!

I am meeting someone I have never met and need to describe myself and I was thinking about how I do that. Do I write short, petite, small,or compact? It is hard to know what to say to sound physically small but also cute. (Or sexy)

I suddenly have a memory of being much younger, perhaps in my teens, when all my girlfriends were much taller than me and I felt more attractive to boys. I was short and had freckles more of the "best friend" scenario than object of desire.

I remember being really upset and talking to my dad. He told me not to worry because I was a 'pocket Venus'. The words didn't really comfort me at the time but every once in a while I think about that and it makes me feel better.

I am a pocket Venus.

My weekend was really good. We went to see the Simpsons movie which was very funny.

Then Saturday, I went to an exhibit called Blind Light by Antony Gormley. It was in the Hayward gallery and there is a cube filled with ambient light and fog. It is meant to be difficult to see and slightly disorienting. You get within a foot of someone before you realise they are there. It was so much fun!!

Then today, a couple of us went walking in the countryside. It was wonderful and we did a really long walk. I walked 25 kms. Very enjoyable all.

Sometimes I can be a pain in the ass - adorable - but a pain in the ass. I feel it is best to know these things about oneself.

Architecture In Helsinki - Heart It Races

Amazing this band. How did I live without them before? Like Muppets meets Beck meets Talking Heads meets Bjork

Feast or Famine, isn't that the expression? Or then there is also, men are like buses...

Well, basically I am in full swing. Let's recap.

1. M - My friend's best man. We have been emailing, messengering and calling since the wedding. He is coming to the UK for a job interview. Think he is the front runner.

2. D - the guy from Nepal that tracked me down. He is coming to London in September and would like to "see me". Carpenter, cute and very funny. Definitely the dark, dark horse.

3. T - the late entry. He came about just today. I get an email through Facebook from some guy who is a friend of my friend. He was intrigued by my profile. (Yeah, because I am hot ;)) and she dared him to write to me. He 34 yrs old, 6'1", and a writer for the AP. His emails to me have been very flirty and very funny. He lives in London.

So, I am in heaven with all the attention! but it means that work levels have plummeted to negative numbers.

Last night, I had a dream that I was in Boston and I made friends with Matt Damon's wife and I was playing with her daughter. I was lifting her up and throwing her in the air.

And then Matt Damon came home and I couldn't lift the daughter up anymore and it was embarrassing. Then I went home to my dorm room but people were still on holiday so I was alone and sad. What do you think that means?

My friend's interpretation:
Something about men disabling you and throwing you off balance. You want them in your life cos its lonely...but they totally disabling you and make you fell like crap.

hmmm...very interesting

BANGKOK, Thailand - Thai police officers who break rules will be forced to wear hot pink armbands featuring "Hello Kitty," the Japanese icon of cute, as a mark of shame, a senior officer said Monday.

Police officers caught littering, parking in a prohibited area, or arriving late — among other misdemeanors — will be forced to stay in the division office and wear the armband all day, said Police Col. Pongpat Chayaphan. The officers won't wear the armband in public.

The striking armband features Hello Kitty sitting atop two hearts.

"Simple warnings no longer work. This new twist is expected to make them feel guilt and shame and prevent them from repeating the offense, no matter how minor," said Pongpat, acting chief of the Crime Suppression Division in Bangkok.

"(Hello) Kitty is a cute icon for young girls. It's not something macho police officers want covering their biceps," Pongpat said.

Just got back from a week in Tuscany. Bliss!
Will write more tomorrow. Today, just happy and relaxed.

Bat For Lashes - Whats a Girl To Do

Amazing video!! Animals on BMXs. This is the video I would make if I could.