Okay, you all saw the Bond film, right?

Does it make me weird that the only scene I found Daniel Craig attractive in was the one where he is naked, tied to a chair and being tortured?

Off to the Philippines on Wednesday

Definition of Cultural Fatigue:

‘Cultural fatigue is the physical and emotional exhaustion that almost invariably results from the infinite series of minute adjustments required for long-term survival in an alien culture. Living and working overseas generally requires that one must suspend his automatic evaluations and judgements; that he must supply new interpretations to seemingly familiar behaviour and that he must demand of himself constant alternations in the style and content of his activity. Whether this process is conscious or unconscious, successful or unsuccessful, it consumes an enormous amount of energy, leaving the individual decidedly fatigues…’

Cultural Confrontation in the Philippines, David L. Szanton

I am depressed.

Oh, yeah. I started Guerrilla Gardening. In case you haven’t heard of it, people get together at night and garden public spaces that are neglected. Plus there is the added thrill of possibly being arrested because we are "interfering with state property". I am a rebel!

It was a great time. I highly recommend it. After the actual gardening, we went to the nearest pub. The people that I met were really interesting. One even is a writer. Her latest book is Around the World in 80 Dates. I am definitely going to pick up a copy to read.

Pokhara, Nepal photos

I am feeling really really really low at the moment. I feel like I have been coping - at various degrees - for the past year and a half. I feel like I can no longer cope. I feel like things are falling apart around me and the strength is gone for me to keep them going.

Let's review:
- My husband tells me that he doesn't think he wants to be with me any longer and sends us on a 19 month roller coaster
- My job requires excessive travel, has no structure and leaves me unsupported by my boss.
- There is a bully at work. Nice. I deal with it the best I can, and take some comfort in the fact that she bullies everyone but it is still not a great situation.
- I am living in a foreign country.
- I am in the middle of selling my flat and I have to do everything.

So, I am getting to the end and I feel like perhaps that is why I am losing it. I know that the flat sale will most likely go through in November. I will have one more 2.5 week trip in 2006. After those two major things, I can go home for two weeks and just relax with family and friends. I am finding it hard emotionally to carry on. I think 6 weeks... 6 weeks more. You can do it. But every day I have taken to crying. I can no longer sleep and if I do, I sleep excessively. AHHHHH!

Plus, this is the thing and it is the killer. I met a guy and he was really lovely and I developed a bit of a crush on him. It will go nowhere as he lives 3000 miles away and has a girlfriend, but I think that is the thing that has really pushed me into the depression.

I have been "good and strong" for too long. I am tired of it. I want to just relax. I want to have a break. I want to have someone like me. I am desperately lonely. I think that hadn't hit me before.

Well, Nepal was great for a change! (woohoo) The meetings were productive. I accomplished a lot which is really good. And I finally got out of Kathmandu!

We went to Pokhara. It is a touristy town the mountains. It is an excellent place for trekking. The weather was nice and the surroundings were gorgeous!

I convinced a man I met in Kathmandu to come with us. He was really lovely and I enjoyed walking and laughing with him. I guess you could say that there was a real connection.

Enter the girlfriend. Yes, he has a girlfriend that he feels that he is compatible with. (Boo, Hiss)He has his doubts about it as I think that he cares about her but doesn't feel this all consuming need to be with her.

The plus the fact that he lives in DC make for it to be a very long shot that we will ever get together but stranger things have happened. At the moment, we are just emailing.

I guess a worst case scenario would be that I would make a friend out of it. That is not so bad.

Well, it has been a while since I have written here. The last entry was about the walking on water exhibit and I attended it with my friend, Sarah. It was very nice but the queues were too long for us to participate. Still it was nice to see from the balcony. It looked fantastic and a little scary as it is your weight which activates the next step. People cautiously lean all their weight onto one foot.

We also went to the Slide Exhibit at the Tate Modern. (Properly called The Unilever Series) It was fantanstic! It runs through April next year so if you get the chance to go, you should. You will not be disappointed. One note, go sooner rather than later in the morning as there are timed queues and they tend to fill out for the day.