Headaches and Stress: Alone in the Community

So, last night I had a dream where all the members of the Community were hanging out. They were going to dinner to celebrate someone in the group. I cannot remember exactly who.

I came home and D was getting dressed and C and B came over. They seemed surprised and embarassed to see me. I enquired where they were going and what they were doing. Again, embarassed and apologetic they muttered something about a party for someone and sorry about me not coming but they didn't think that I would be around so they didn't invite me. I asked delicately if they number of people celebrating was fixed and they again nervously said yes and then dashed away.

I felt really sad. Rejected. I felt like an extraneous person, or in simple terms, Billy No Mates. I think the reason I had this dream was because officially, I told D I would live with him. The fear that I have about 1.) Leaving the North and 2.) Becoming a couple and being excluded is really manifesting in my dreams.

Maybe I need to think about this and try to unpack this before I agree on a move in date? For now, I just feel sad and lonely.