I am in the Philippines. I am really exhausted. I have been working since 8 am until 11:00/12:00 at night and it is thinking, listening, talking, etc. Lots of really focused work. Plus, trying to get this damn presentation written. (Did I mention that I am speaking at a conference in Jakarta?)

So very busy lady. But I do enjoy the work.

Am really keen to be done with it and lay on the beach for a few days relaxing at the end of the trip. Think it will be well deserved. I am on day 12 of working without a day/night off. It doesn't sound like much but I am really shattered.

And because I am tired, I am more emotional. I am lonely. My ex's emails telling he misses me, play on how alone and vulnerable I feel. It is not overwhelming but would really like someone to kiss me or hug me or even have a conversation where there was a bit of flirting going on.

But at the end of the day, this is what I asked for in terms of work and career and so I am willing to do it. My boss is here at the moment and I said given my schedule of travel and workload, I don't think I will have a life and he said, "some years are like that".

That statement is bizarre. Can you just have a year where you don't have a life?

Anyway, got to write that presentation so I will sign off.

Absolutely bizarre.

Dickens World: a Dickens theme park Dickens World, a new Dickens-themed attraction will open in a giant former warehouse near London next month:
The indoor attraction includes a central square of cobbled streets and crooked buildings, where staff dressed as pickpockets and wenches will mingle with the crowds. Visitors who pay the $25 admission charge -- $15 for children -- will have the chance to see the Ghost of Christmas Past in Ebeneezer Scrooge's haunted house, be hectored by a schoolmaster at Dotheboys Hall -- the dismal school from "Nicholas Nickleby" -- and peer into the fetid cells of Newgate Prison.
Tourists can also have a meal in the cafeteria, which has resisted the temptation to offer "Please, sir can I have some more?" 2-for-1 specials. The little ones can play in Fagin's Den, an area for preschoolers named after the gangmaster of the band of thieves in "Oliver Twist."

I realised that I had posed some questions about G but haven't written about it since. If you are interested, I consulted my brother on the whole thing. And I tend to agree with what he said. G is actually more attached to this woman that he is dating than he had admitted and will most likely stay were for a long time.

I therefore am not really going to write to him any longer. I don't want to sound like becuase he is not interested in me, I am not responding. It is not that straightforward at all. I just think that I am not going to actually write to him. There is no real point. If he writes to me, I will respond but I am not going to pursue engagement with him.

Maybe if I lived in DC, it would be different but actually, it is better (for many reasons) that I don't.

We flew from Manila to Cagayan de Oro. We flew on Cebu Pacific Airlines. After they came around with the food, they announced "and now the games portion of the flight!" This took me quite by surprise because I have never flown an airline where there was a game portion included.

The way it worked was that each of the flight attendants took a turn singing a few lines from a song and the first person to put their hand up to indicate that they knew it won a green visor bearing the airline's name and logo. It was brilliant!

The first woman sung, "Leaving on a Jet plane". I loved it. The next was a male flight attendant that insisted on hiding behind the panel to sing, but that didn't stop him from going way beyond the first three lines and well into the refrain. Bless. The third was another female attendant who sang the Carpenters' "Close to You". Oh, I was so disappointed when it ended. I just couldn't stop giggling. The whole thing, from the concept to delivery, made me so happy.

Observations:
Filippinos love singing and music. Love it! Music is everywhere and karaoke bars or even restarants that turn into karaoke bars at night are everywhere. The music that is around is varied but most of it appears to be ballads from the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. It is constant. Some of them are original. Actually, most are but there are also covers of the hits and depending on the quality, some I prefer more. Mostly because they were pretty cheesy the first time around and 10 - 20 years later, it is even harder to bear. At least as a cover, it is giving it a slight facelift.

And Filippinos sing along. It is common to hear people walking, shopping, working, etc. singing along to the music in the background. It is really refreshing compared to the British culture where I think most would rather sustain a physical injury than sing in public.

Hey, back in the Philippines. It is in a heatwave and there have been brown outs. Ahh, I cannot take this. I am European and therefore the heat causes madness. Actually, for me it is not as bad as it could be. Sure, I am sweating out of every pore and exhausted from fatigue, but it is only a challenge. Better than a cold grey rainy day in England!

Have been trying to settle in with meetings and such. I haven't been as suceesdful as I would have liked with arranging meetings but there are some settled and it will be good ones.

I also need to spend some time preparing for my Jakarta conference and speech. UGH! Just found out it is 15 minutes. Even better than 20, but not as good as none. I am so stressed about it as I don't consider myself an expert in 1325 in anyway, but will need to buckle down and get on with it.

My boss is arriving in two days. It will be nice to have someone to talk to here. It is odd when you don't know anyone. Kinda lonely. No, very lonely. I have always known that I am one of those people that need human interaction. I am unsure whether I could live isolated by myself for long periods of time. I could go mental. I need hugs and laughs.

So tired. So unbelievably tired.

I was so burnt out before heading back to the US for a visit. Ten days and six couches assured that the fatigue clung on. Now I am back in England desperately trying to work and catch up before heading out again. This time back to the Philippines with a three day trip to Jakarta. (At a conference I am speaking at.)

UGH! I just want a quiet little beach somewhere. Peace and quiet and perhaps an attractive man to kiss.

My mom was watching Scrubs with me this evening. One of the extra characters, Laverne, was killed in tonight's episode. My mom sobbed. The show is a touching one and I was sad to see her written out of the show.

I tried to hug my mom but she still continued to sob. I said what she used to say to me, "it is a tv show and they all go out for coffee afterwards". My mom surprised me when she answered, "not to me. They are real".

I enquired, "what do you mean they are real. It is a tv program." She said, "not to me. It is all I have".

This is very melodramic but you should have been there for this comment. I really didn't know what to say. Does she really think that it [characters on a tv show] is all she has? The guilt of living abroad for the past four years kicked into full swing. How sad if she really thinks this is true. Should I try to return in order to be there for her more?

Bagel holder - CD holder

Neat trick!