Tonight, I went to Alisa's house. At the house was Alisa, Brian, their kids - Elizabeth, Katie, James, Naomi, her boyfriend, Craig, her friend Shery, my grandmother, my dad, auntie Becky and her new husband Bill.

It was a nice night. We joked around. We ate a big dinner. We watched old home movies. We laughed about Carrie being pregnant and having a counter when she was already seven weeks along.

We talked about how we wish Andrew was there instead of working. And people talked about you. They asked how you were and what you did for Christmas. They said how long it has been since they had seen you and made me promise next time I would bring you. I didn't have the heart to say anything. I don't know if what for them or for me that I didn't say anything but I didn't. I just couldn't.

Dad took me home and I couldn't stop hungging him. I didn't want to let him go. I wanted to just hold him for hours. I didn't want to leave his arms. I didn't want to leave the US. I wanted to stay where people hugged me.

I went in the house and sobbed. I am still crying now.