My life is strange here. I have to say, it is bizarre. My mom and my brother are living in a tiny house. The house is filled floor to ceiling with junk. My mom keeps three of everything. Yes, she is that kind of person that you see on the documentaries on PBS. She will keep a pair of broken sunglasses for years because she spent a lot of money on them.

My brother drinks too much. He often drinks loads in one sitting. He is what people would call a functional alcoholic. He can hold down a job and is always sober at work, but he lives with his mother because he spends most of his money on going out and meeting people or drinking at home while playing video games.

My dad is remarried and does not allow my brother and stepmother together. My stepmother is a bitch and my brother accurately but inappropriately called her one. The two are separated at all times now and my dad must live a dual life. The one where he spends time with her and her family and the one where he spends time with us kids.

In only a couple days, I remember the feelings that I always had. The mixture of needing to straighten out their lives and the desire to run 3000 miles away and forget them. It shapes my future feelings and desires. What do I want to do? It changes by the minute.